hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I didn't notice because vodka
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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