love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
