Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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