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• (301): View more from Maryland

  i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.

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• (858): View more from California

  Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (315): View more from New York

  idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (760): View more from California

  Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver

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• (917): View more from New York City

  his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise

  (1-571): View more from Virginia

  GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT

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