Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.

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  (347): you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair. http://tfl.nu/pf7y
  Replies (100) Good night (1235) Bad night (4175)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.

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  (843): I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina. http://tfl.nu/l94r
  Replies (15) Good night (948) Bad night (3437)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.

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  (678): he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him. http://tfl.nu/39a0
  Replies (37) Good night (1002) Bad night (4544)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

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  (504): I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this. http://tfl.nu/j9b2
  Replies (10) Good night (4077) Bad night (1160)
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  (818): View more from California

  The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.

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  (818): The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again. http://tfl.nu/z8ef
  Replies (11) Good night (4587) Bad night (1067)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.

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  (608): Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer. http://tfl.nu/9xrq
  Replies (2) Good night (1423) Bad night (730)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Your cock is gonna weep like a baby

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  (407): Your cock is gonna weep like a baby http://tfl.nu/ae0t
  Replies (13) Good night (1812) Bad night (758)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"

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  (440): I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found" http://tfl.nu/rmaa
  Replies (3) Good night (1725) Bad night (527)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".

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  (317): No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila". http://tfl.nu/tmys
  Replies (6) Good night (1583) Bad night (547)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.

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  (817): He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more. http://tfl.nu/2a37
  Replies (8) Good night (501) Bad night (1312)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.

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  (289): Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel. http://tfl.nu/rxj6
  Replies (8) Good night (1057) Bad night (957)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed

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  (484): Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed http://tfl.nu/tho4
  Replies (7) Good night (940) Bad night (429)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name

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  (306): i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name http://tfl.nu/61nk
  Replies (0) Good night (705) Bad night (345)
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  (209): View more from California

  Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.

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  (209): Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered. http://tfl.nu/p8yt
  Replies (0) Good night (804) Bad night (334)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.

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  (404): I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten. http://tfl.nu/1ps7
  Replies (0) Good night (554) Bad night (288)

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