Texts From Last Night

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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds

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  (931): I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds http://tfl.nu/gekw
  Replies (20) Good night (1167) Bad night (3573)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica

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  (860): Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica http://tfl.nu/womi
  Replies (10) Good night (4642) Bad night (1405)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight

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  (210): Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight http://tfl.nu/kopz
  Replies (14) Good night (1217) Bad night (4224)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.

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  (270): The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned. http://tfl.nu/9j2r
  Replies (30) Good night (5351) Bad night (3550)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.

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  (732): This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together. http://tfl.nu/028o
  Replies (4) Good night (1130) Bad night (3823)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??

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  (513): How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last?? http://tfl.nu/wkzl
  Replies (9) Good night (999) Bad night (2767)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...

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  (906): They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home... http://tfl.nu/s5gn
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (1945)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth

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  (303): You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller (1-303): I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth http://tfl.nu/tary
  Replies (10) Good night (1023) Bad night (2265)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.

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  (973): He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me. http://tfl.nu/2l9a
  Replies (10) Good night (531) Bad night (1486)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"

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  (971): He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors" http://tfl.nu/9vvt
  Replies (4) Good night (588) Bad night (930)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.

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  (585): He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going. http://tfl.nu/c63w
  Replies (7) Good night (1533) Bad night (360)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.

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  (818): Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great. http://tfl.nu/bj70
  Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (249)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue

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  (303): Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue http://tfl.nu/w6vq
  Replies (3) Good night (370) Bad night (622)
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  (714): View more from California

  someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.

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  (714): someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults. http://tfl.nu/sjq2
  Replies (6) Good night (531) Bad night (614)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom

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  (309): I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom http://tfl.nu/hu06
  Replies (2) Good night (763) Bad night (153)

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