Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?

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(325): View more from Texas

When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(727): View more from Florida

You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.

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(850): View more from Florida

u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.

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(850): View more from Florida

I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.

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(845): View more from New York

I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...

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(712): View more from Iowa

there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen

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