Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (896): View more from

  i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (896): i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself. http://tfl.nu/abgv
  Replies (9) Good night (3332) Bad night (773) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet. http://tfl.nu/977n
  Replies (14) Good night (4052) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise. http://tfl.nu/2rjq
  Replies (27) Good night (814) Bad night (2801) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all. http://tfl.nu/rpqm
  Replies (9) Good night (3944) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life. http://tfl.nu/7q9y
  Replies (7) Good night (1162) Bad night (3038) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life. http://tfl.nu/g5ok
  Replies (35) Good night (15234) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee. http://tfl.nu/mtea
  Replies (46) Good night (2384) Bad night (4593) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich http://tfl.nu/kdwm
  Replies (5) Good night (687) Bad night (2262) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love. http://tfl.nu/9ope
  Replies (7) Good night (2376) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned http://tfl.nu/z9a2
  Replies (4) Good night (724) Bad night (1715) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  You were.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night. (1-203): You were. http://tfl.nu/s399
  Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (2620) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions? http://tfl.nu/wlcv
  Replies (6) Good night (1432) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn. http://tfl.nu/ku90
  Replies (6) Good night (988) Bad night (406) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed??? http://tfl.nu/qbm2
  Replies (20) Good night (2265) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive. http://tfl.nu/sq1l
  Replies (2) Good night (404) Bad night (292) Order T-Shirt

Randomize