just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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