There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
