if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'd cum for enchiladas.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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