i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
