This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
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If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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