So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize