she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
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