oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The air was thick with penises
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
