margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
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