brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
