Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
