I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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