halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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