Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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