glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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