Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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