First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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