I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
