Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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