I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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