Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
