Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
