He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
