I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
