I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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