It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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