You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
