4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
