The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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