I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
