TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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