you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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