I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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