school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
