she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i love accidental penises.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
