Swine flu. Run for my life!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
