I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
