using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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