I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Still dying that you shit outside
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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