I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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