Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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