You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
That was before I lit my hair on fire
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
