You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
