you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
