I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I take back everything I said about communal showers
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
