I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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