I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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