Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
