Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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