The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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