1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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