Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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