Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
