Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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