Yo dont text me then not text me
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
