Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
