did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
